Recently, I decided to try something completely new for me. And I want to share it with you guys because I’m trying to learn what’s right and what’s wrong but it’s been hard trying to figure it out on my own.
Everyone handles situations differently and I wish I had more control over my emotions because I’m just stressed out. I literally overthink everything and I cannot help it. I replay scenarios over and over in my head constantly wishing for different outcomes. But I can highlight one positive though, I’ve definitely made progress with not allowing personal problems affect me at work. It just sucks that as soon as I step back into my car or get to my apartment it’s like my thoughts are constantly on replay.
So, long-distance relationships are something I always pictured in my head as do-able and challenging but definitely something I would be completely open to. With texting, phone calls and FaceTime available I don’t see any issues with it. Experiencing it first hand, I’m quickly learning that developing a bond with someone even just by phone is really amazing and overwhelming at the same time. I started asking myself questions that I didn’t even have answers to. What’s going to happen when things get more serious? Do I have to take a flight to see you? Am I going to have to relocate? Do I just get up and go? Am I thinking too much into this? Does he even like me that much? Just a bunch of stuff went through my mind in the beginning and I shut down my emotions a bit because I didn’t want to scare anyone off. Imagine wanting to express to someone how you feel but not wanting to feel vulnerable. You both don’t want to move too fast, but at the same time the distance is making you “miss” each other more and you end up saying how much you like each other right away. Then, you start to care and it’s just on a different level for me. It’s like now that I care so much I have to make sure you’re good and anything you need “I got you.”
Then, you fast forward and after spending time together in person it’s like now what? Spending time away from you is getting frustrating. I have to wait weeks to go by for me to see you and there’s nothing I can really do but go back to my original questions from the beginning; should I be thinking of moving? But is it way too soon? It’s like I want to just enjoy the moment with you, but I’m also worried about what’s to come. But I still want it to work so I’m down for whatever to makes us both happy.
I’m sorry if this is just a long venting session. As I’m writing this, I’m trying to figure out what’s the best way to go about this situation when I really like and care for someone.
I do believe that timing is literally everything. And you also don’t just meet or run into anyone by chance. When I instantly click with someone and the conversation flows, I really feel like this was meant to happen. And with that I have to realize that it doesn’t mean the situation will be perfect. You still have to make it work. Nobody is perfect and I’m far from it. Everyone knows about the honey moon stage when you’re dating. He’s the perfect guy and he’s so sweet, handsome and thoughtful which can all be true; but what happens when you start to argue? You get to know the person a little more and see a different side of them. And people make mistakes sometimes and that’s okay. You might say a few hurtful things or stuff you don’t mean. But I’ve noticed that through all of it I’m usually willing to compromise and work things out. I give second, third, fourth and maybe plus chances because I really believe you can work through anything when both sides are willing. Sadly enough, you really just have to hope the other person is willing to try with you or have patience. They have to want it as much as you do to even start moving in that direction.
I don’t have all the answers or any answers for that matter on what to do next, but lately I’ve just been praying. It really helps get me through my days.